Can you teach me to feel it
I'll take it step by step so I never miss a thing
Make me feel it

I am a pessimist.
I believe with every atom in me that I am bound for disaster. When I for the moment am proven wrong, I'm happy for a while, and then I explain it with that worse times are coming ahead, and then I'll do something really stupid.
However, good things happen to me all to often these days, so I'm getting a bit confused, and scared to be honest. If I lose these good things I'll just be my old rotten self again. Right now I'm just trying to be as good as I can, in the fear of doing it wrong, for when I do it wrong.. I did say I was bound for disaster, right?

I am hearing the words I always wished I would hear someday, yet it's not fully what I expected it to be. No, cause you have to believe the words you hear. I know the mind that formed those words for me believes it, I can see that, but my own mind just doesn't seem to be able to think good things about me for a longer period of time.

Fear, it such a strong feeling, and a feeling hard to express, as I feel it. Of course we are afraid of losing the good things in our life, that's normal, isn't it? But what I fear is that I will be the reason... Someone that can shut that pessimistic part of me down so I can be happy for a while again??

I have this obsession. I need to know what people think of me, and preferably not only the good things. But no one ever tells me. "I'm a bit annoying sometimes though, aren't I? Aren't I? Aren't I??" "Well you are now!" It's more up to my own imagination to decide what others think of me and that isn't exactly the bes either. Why? Cause I'm a pessimist. In my world, if they don't say what they think about be, they hate me...

I learn about life through your life
I learn about touch through your hands
I learn about love through your heart
I learn to be kind where I can