by leaving this place
some thoughts we left behind
some good and some sad


Well... How can we describe what happened? Disaster? Might be a good word.
I came to the conclusion that I shouldn't have said anything. I should have waited. Now things have just become so hard. Do you know what it feels like to really really not want to go home? After all that was said...
I just can't believe it. I expected them to not like it very much, but that was like beyond dislike. I'm now an utter disappointment to them. I feel hated and unwelcomed.
Something I said she took like a threat, like I just said it to be nasty. It wasn't like that. I was just trying to explain how I work in situations where they yell at me, trying to convince me of something. I tried to tell her something about how I work, because she never figured it out herself. But then I became a defiant 12-year old, which was just unfair.
It feels like I'll never get them to understand. It feels like mission impossible, and therefore it's not even worth trying. It would be so much easier to just let it be. Just ignore every atempt they make to try to comvince me I'm doing the wrong thing, or just yell at me for being so incredibly stupid. I would just be so easy... But the easy ways isn't always the right one, is it?

It just hurts so much. I shouldn't be like that.

And in all this there are those who understand, and give me support, even from unexpected directions... I want to thank you for that. It warms my heart, it helps...

But I'm still afraid. I couldn't sleep. I still have to go home...

it's a fool's game
it's a rat race
are you tempted
to be be rented

...are you stable?
am I able?

she says "One more? Just what are you scared of?"
he says "what for? ..."

can you face it
when you're wasted
are you sober
before its over

carbon dated
over-rated
carton flavoured
little "Miss Behaviour"